Free Things

I love free things. I am like the biggest advocate of free things. Seriously, nothing bothers me more than when I have the chance to something free but then miss it. For any reason, i'm just bothered. I think giving away free things is the best idea ever. Free is probably the most loved word in the english language. Everyone loves when they get something free, regardless of what it is. I promise, you put a sign in your yard saying "Free Air", you will have people inquiring about it within 30 minutes. I don't even think they see the second word seeing what they get, they just know its free. I think a trigger goes off in their brain thinking, "FREE!!!! 'What is it thats free?' I DON'T CARE, ITS FREE!!!!" Like literally, can you think of anytime people pass up free things? Even if its bad, people consider it because its free. Free drugs? Well, i'm not into that sorta thing....but it is free....I know that crosses all your minds. Like at a basketball game, they throw out free towels, shirts, balls. Do you know what you do with them? Put them on your floor for awhile then throw them out during spring cleaning. Your sitting there and they come out with mini basketballs. You stand up, spilling the four you already have, just to catch another one. It is ridiculous really.

Practical Jokes

So I've always been a joker. I like making people laugh and I think people should just laugh more. I think everyone should just not let things bug them, get over it, and laugh about it. Since I'm a joker, I love practical jokes. Those are like the king of all jokes. If you have a a practical joke that takes a while to plan out and even longer to execute, but works like a charm, I look up to you greatly. I love thinking of practical jokes. I'm never sure how the jokes will end, so I don't do some of them just because I don't know the law so I could end up in prison only because I didn't know it was illegal. Now don't worry I don't do things that I know are illegal, like a start a brush fire right in front of a house or anything. I also avoid, like the plague, jokes that the sole purpose is to hurt someone. Thats not who I am, so I don't do it. Those aren't jokes, thats just mean. But anyway, today I was walking into school and I saw a cop and he pulled into a parking space in front of me. As I walked by I really wanted to stop in front of his car, look at him and then just make a break for it, like I had done something bad and I wanted him to chase me. And when he ultimately caught me (yes he was a fit cop) i'd just laugh because I didn't do anything wrong. It would be really awesome if at the same time like someone stole a book or something so people were shouting at the cop because something went wrong. But in the end, I didn't do anything and just acted like it. I think that would be awesome.

Boom Roasted!

So one of my favorite shows is The Office. There was an episode where the main character got roasted. I love that idea. So if I know you, you may be roasted. Its all in fun, and i'm just making some jokes. I don't mean it. Don't kill me.

Patrick, you're short and your son is a failure. Boom, roasted.
Kiana, you married Patrick. Boom, roasted.
Meredith, your pregnant and your car never works. Boom, roasted.
Abby, i've dated more than you and your boyfriend looks like a muppet. Boom, roasted.
Cindy, you go to BYU. Boom, roasted.
Hannah, you go to BYU-ID, even worse. Boom, roasted.
Sara, you cry more than my mom. Boom, roasted.
Tara, you date only scumbags. Boom, roasted. (Though I wish you the best of luck in the future)
Liz, the only difference between you and Hellen Keller is that she's famous. Boom, roasted.
Mom and Dad, you are murderers of love. Boom, roasted.

Thank you all for your support. More roasts may come